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Living “in a World Where Sad Wants to Win”

I was listening to the music of my favorite singer, Mario Frangoulis, who you may remember from the 2004 Greek Olympics; however I discovered his stunningly beautiful music long before the games and it has often been comfort to me during difficult times. Perhaps it is because he wears his emotions and his heart in his music and speaks to the vulnerability of the human experience.

In one particular song he asks “Is a man allowed to feel this happy in a world where sad wants to win?” Having been the subject of ongoing harassment by a group of people who seem to have nothing better to do than to make up lies about me and harass me wherever I go…even to seek me out where I live, I have stood strong against their misery, anger, and bitterness. But, even the strong feel the erosion of joy and happiness from this form of emotional abuse after experiencing it for years.

Every single day for the past two years that I’ve been facing the harassment and bullying, I’ve observed that sadness, anger, and hatred seems to be growing in our society as a whole. Frequently we turn those emotions onto others through personal attacks, insults, name-calling, and other seemingly childless behavior, and perhaps this has happened, at least in part, because we see this behavior in our political, celebrity, and other influential people. It seems that emotional maturity has been losing a war with ugliness and bitterness in a world full of increasing sadness turned to anger turned outward toward others. I share the story of my recent experiences as a way to bring hope to those who are experiencing something similar so that they will have the strength to speak out and stand up to abusive behaviors.

Instead of facing our wounds, our sadness, and our grief, so many among us turn these feelings into anger toward others. And, the least emotionally mature among us turn that sadness-turned-anger into a hatred of others, whether it be whole groups of people like blacks, Native Americans, women, gays, or liberals, or joyous, successful, wealthy, or attractive individuals who we hate for having the joy, success, wealth, or good looks we covet.

And, let’s face it: kindly asking these bullies to stop does nothing to stop their childish and ugly behavior. Should we stop being kind? Of course not. Kindness needs to win this war against the evil that some people have let into their hearts. So, what is the answer? Strongly stand against the opposition, demand that it stop by using emotional maturity and strength, and where their behaviors become abusive, call them out for it, involve the authorities when the behavior breaks the law, and own your strength even extracting yourself from the situation, if possible. As for my situation, first, I kindly requested that these people stop (which did nothing to stop the problem), so I stood up to them and informed them that they needed to stop or I was going to take further action, and when their actions deteriorated into criminal behavior, I gave my statement to the police and sent cease and desist notices.

While it is important not to sink to their level of ugliness through nastiness and name-calling, personal attacks, or criminal behavior, we must not let anger and sadness erode our potential for happiness and joy either. By fully owning our strength, alongside our emotional maturity, and finding ways back to joy, happiness will overshadow the sadness or anger we see so often in our world.

DR. MICHELLE SCHOFFRO COOK, PhD, DNM is a celebrity nutritionist and international best-selling and 20-time published book author whose works include:  THE CULTURED COOK: Delicious Fermented Foods with Probiotics to Knock Out Inflammation, Boost Gut Health, Lose Weight, and Extend Your Life60 Seconds to SlimThe Probiotic Promiseand Boost Your Brain Power in 60 Seconds. Her work has been featured in Woman's World, First for Women, Reader's Digest Best Health, Health, Huffington Post, Reviews.com, WebMD, ThriveGlobal, and Care2.com. Learn more about her work at CulturedCook.com and DrMichelleCook.com.

 

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